[Humor] Raid Rules

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I read this once from some other site and thought is was great. Thought I would share with you



I find it terribly hard to remember all the nuances of each boss fight. Sorry, but I’m just not hard-core enough to memorize who casts what, and I really don’t care if Pixie McNixie in the bottom of some hole is planning to fear me, sheep me, or chop me in half with a big heavy axe.


Why? Because overall things are pretty much the same from one boss to the next, so I figured I could come up with a single set of rules on how to raid ANYTHING. I’ve appropriately named these rules “A Single Set Of Rules On How To Raid ANYTHING.”


Getting Ready:

Many people go to YouTube and watch Tankspot videos to familiarize themselves with the fights. This is a waste of time, because all you really need are my simple rules. Not 100% sure? Here are some additional reasons for skipping the videos:


1. Those people in the videos are ELITE WIZARDS and your raid team is not going to do anywhere near as well as them. It’s like watching an Olympic gold medalist do the ski jump and then trying it yourself. Forget about it.


2. There are less steps to preparing your taxes than there are to fights like Freya. Watching Tankspot explain it on YouTube will only give you a headache. Your guild is going to wipe on it anyway, so no need to give yourself a migraine. Skip the video and use my rules below!


Let’s Raid!

Ok, so here is my Single Set Of Rules On How To Raid ANYTHING:


1. DO NOT stand in anything that wasn’t there before the fight started, if it visually looks dangerous. This includes fire, black steaming circles of nastiness, green slimy stuff, purple ooze, etc. If you are not sure, stand in it for a second and see if your health goes down. If it does, MOVE.


2. DEFINITELY DO stand in anything that wasn’t there before the fight started, if it visually looks beneficial. This includes pleasant rays of fairy moonlight, air with lightning bug / glittery things in it, shiny sparkly spots on the floor, or anything else that a 3 year old girl might want to color. If you are not sure, stand in it for a second. If nothing bad happens, definitely keep standing it it because it MUST be doing something good.


3. Do the following based on your function:


Tank: Attack the boss with everything you got. Keep doing this and don’t stop until your healer drags you away screaming at you, “STOP! STOP! HE’S DEAD ALREADY!”


Heal: Keep healing until everyone is either dead and blaming you, or the boss is dead. In the latter case, it is your job to drag the tank away from the bloody corpse.


DPS: Do the same as the tank, but wait a fraction of a second before doing so. This way, if you get aggro, you can blame the Tank. Otherwise, he will blame you. That fraction of a second makes all the difference on who gets blamed for the wipe. Use it wisely. Now this next part is important: If adds arrive, you need to make a visual check of how dangerous they look. If they look like they can be ignored, stay on the boss. If they look really nasty, switch to the add. Simple! Or you can always fall back on the “watch what everyone else is doing and copy them” strategy, but I’m training you to be a trailblazer, so get in there and blaze that trail!


Off Tank: You’re on the adds. Someday, if you ever become cool enough or geared enough, the guild might let you be a REAL tank. But probably not anytime soon. So stick to adds. And if you run like a madman all over the map with a trail of adds behind you, creating a hellish conga-line of death, all the DPSers are going to HATE YOU. So keep your butt in one spot, take your beating, and suck it up.


4. DO NOT stand in a Boss’ AOE. The crap raining down on your head should be an obvious sign that it’s time to pack up and move.


5. Should a boss fight require you to operate some sort of vehicle, land mount, or drake, randomly mash buttons as fast as the cool-downs allow. Generally, Button 1 is the biggie one to mash, so mash it more than the others. No one’s really going to notice if you did well or not, so just mash, mash, mash! You’re a pro!


6. If you get aggro, run TOWARD your teammates, not away from them. It’s the surest way to get rid of that unwanted boss who’s taken serious notice of you. Ideally, run toward (and right through) a mage. Mages are a big, big help with getting rid of aggro. If you’re a warlock, you can even strategically position yourself right next to a mage throughout the fight, and Soulshatter as needed. Be sure to turn toward the mage when Soulshattering, so that you can watch the look on his face when the boss 1-shots him. If you’re a mage, disregard everything I’ve just said, and take one for the team.


7. The laws of the universe that govern comic books, video games, and science fiction in general require that twins ALWAYS have some sort of symbiotic relationship, and a special power will CERTAINLY exist between them. Therefore, any time there are twin bosses (or even twin adds if they’re extremely dangerous looking), they MUST be killed simultaneously. Very bad things happen when one twin witnesses the death of the other. Heed my warning, and kill any and all twins at the same time. Further, they cannot be allowed to touch each other or send each other any kind of glowing orb, ray beam, soothing rainbow, etc. You don’t want the wonder-twins activating ANYTHING. So keep them apart, kill them apart, and do it at the same time.


If you follow these simple rules, you’re sure to be a success at your next raid. I advise you to print this out and keep it handy. Review it during the boring buff periods before raiding, or when the tank is off begging for another healer. And be sure to stop back by and let me know how it went! Happy raiding!


Healing Heroic Halfus

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Over the past couple of weeks Darkfire has been mastering Halfus on Heroic 10 man. We’ve downed him twice now, and would like to be able to do him in 25 man shortly. Here is a healing guide for Heroic Halfus .

I’m not evangelism specced as I dont’ feel that it has the control required for that chaotic of a fight, at least on 10 man. I did read over on Tankspot.com that the usage of Atonement specced discipline priests are rather optimal for incidental raid healing.

Our guild took 3 tanks (2 warriors and a paladin), 3 healers (1 Discipline Priest, 1 Restoration Shaman and 1 Holy Paladin), and 4 DPS (Mage, Feral Druid, Frost DK, a hunter).

The fight itself is chaotic at best to begin with as you’re contending with 3 dragons, the whelps and Halfus. The main focus at this point is to ensure that the tanks stay alive, that the taunt rotation goes as planned without the Mortal Strike stacks getting very high as this makes healing on a tank with more than 8 stacks impossible, and even more importantly the interrupt rotation on Halfus’ Shadow Nova.

Early on we ran into issues with interrupts not getting off in a timely manner, blowing the raid up, and sending healers out of range of their tank targets. We ended up having to have our Restoration Shaman use an Interrupt Focus macro which helped immensely.

       /cast [@focus] Wind Shear

We also had excellent healer communication when it came to mana regeneration rotations. (Mana Tide Totem, Hymn of Hope and Divine Plea), as by the time the first dragon went down we were on the low side of mana, so with the level of communication we had we were able to stagger our mana return cooldowns and return to almost full mana to continue the fight.

Once the first Dragon is handled, and the whelps are gone, healing got easier until we got into the final phase with just Halfus up. The knockback that he does is almost terrifying especially if you’re short on mages or you lose your mage early. Hunters with Nether Rays, or Paladins with Bubble and Rebuke, or BoP a shaman and have them interrupt is other alternatives to not having a mage, but aren’t quite as good as a well prepared Mage.

If the interrupts go off as planned that phase in and of itself is relatively easy, after the roars you have a few moments to top everyone up before you have to do it all over again, while avoiding fire barrage.

An introduction

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I decided to hop on the blog bandwagon once again and start a healing blog, I spend a good amount of time answering questions about healing, gemming, gearing and such over on the Reddit community and with my own guild, and many of the questions people ask me make for good post ideas, so I figured it was time to spread my wings outside of my guild’s forum, Reddit and my other small random wow blog over on Tumblr.

I’ve been healing as a priest since the beginning of Wrath of the Lich King, I initially dabbled as a holy priest but couldn’t quite get comfortable with the healing. I then discovered and fell in love with Discipline Healing. I stepped off and took some time playing at a restoration shaman, and while I did enjoy that it didn’t really have the control and power that my priest did. I suppose I kept dreaming of the enormous numbers that I was pulling when we started working on Lich King 25, and cried pitifully. Not seeing those numbers as a restoration shaman was disheartening at the best.

I still don’t see the enormous numbers from my discipline priest like we did back in Wrath, but I’m satisfied when I see the Divine Aegis absorbs totaling 50k+ on our main tank, and the occasional trips to Cho’Gall where I get to be an Archangel/Evangelism priest and spend my fight smiting away happily.

I’m impressed at how I grew out of using Healbot and Vuhdo and learning how to make my UI perfect, switching over and learning to use a Razer Naga, programming mouseover macros, learning about Power Auras.

I also dabble in raid analysis, I focus mainly on consumable usage, cooldown usage and uptime on things like Earth Shield, and lightwell.

I suppose for now, I’ll leave the introduction as such.